Avoiding a cliché message on Thanksgiving, but failing at it!

As the title might imply, I don’t want to give another Thanksgiving message that rings hollow. So that being said, lets remember that it is a day that we give thanks, but we must remember to live a life that is thankful. 

For me, it has been a process.  Growing up in middle class Cleveland and working in retail quite a bit, the ideas of material lust and gluttony are always prevalent.  I have learned ways to get around these traps so that I would find peace and contentment instead of hunger and unrest.

Here are a few things that I have learned in life to have a life of thanksgiving, rather than just a day of thanksgiving.

Celebrate the things that I have, don’t focus on what I don’t have.  This was a big lesson for me.  I listened to people for years tell me that I needed a new car (one that was more “me”), new phone, a wife, etc.  It was fairly annoying, and at times it made me second guess what I had in my life.  The thing is that if I did get one of those, my life might not be any better… in fact, it could be worse.  So instead, I am celebrating not having debts or drama that follows those things and being patient when the right things come along.

Be happy for the Jones’, but don’t try to keep up with them.  Comparisons are dangerous.  I am Jason.  Not someone else.  Being a twin, I was constantly being compared by my peers growing up, which just created discontent.  I learned quickly that I will not keep up with the Joneses because this is a race with no end in sight or purpose, other than trying to look good. I get my identity from God, not what my neighbors think.  So instead, when someone is blessed with something, I smile and am happy for them.

Delete the words “I deserve” from my vocabulary.  What I am not saying is that we should think that we should be depraved and don’t deserve anything, but instead we should not treat God like he is a cosmic ATM or create a mentality that our needs and desires take precedence to everyone else.  Another dangerous thought on this line is that when we think “I deserve that”, it frequently leads to sin and selfishness.  So again, this means not living a life of demanding, but a life of gratitude.

Focus on the time that I do have with people, not the distance between.  This is an easy one to do.  Again, here is an example of me trying to focus on what is there… not what is absent.  The truth is, with people there is a lot more “absence” in life and if we try to fill it, then we will go nuts or become clingy/possessive/controlling to those close to us.  Neither of which are good =) This is why I do my best to appreciate every moment with those I care about, and look forward to the next time I see them... whenever that will be.

Be still and know that he is God (Psalm 46:10), and God is a good father (Matthew 7:11).  Just like a good parent, God won’t give us EVERYTHING that we want.  Honestly, would you give your kids everything that they want... I remember what I wanted as a kid, and I am glad that my parents didn't cave for my every whim!  

He knows what we want and what we need, he will give us what we need even if we don’t realize that is what we need.  Sure, I didn’t want to be unemployed… but there were valuable lessons that I learned during that time.  I didn’t like being underpaid once I got a job, but I learned how to budget… which is what I needed.  Those trials that I needed have helped me become who I am today, and I am thankful for that.  I am sure that better things are yet to come, but until then, I do my best to be thankful knowing that I have a God in heaven who knows best... not me!

So happy Turkey Day to all, and remember the reason for the season! 

The Giving Life: Revisited

As you guys have noticed, I have not spent a lot of time writing lately.  There are a few reasons for that, but I am glad to be back doing something that I love and doing something that can possibly give life to someone else.  During this time, I had a lot of time to think and observe life around me.

One observation that I have made is that there is a serious case of depression in the Cleveland area.  Not everyone has it, but it seems that many people close to me suffer from it and it seems to be holding them back from a greater life.  The shame is that those people who are feeling oppressed are recoiling and isolating themselves.

So this is a call to anyone who is feeling overwhelmed, depressed, or defeated:  Don't lose heart, and don't be afraid to put yourself out there and help others.

It seems very counter-intuitive, but I have found that usually when I feel drained and like I have nothing left to give, that is when I am called to give again. Sometimes I feel as if my soul is screaming underneath my skin, but I do it anyway.   And you know what?  I was able to bless others because of it, even through the exhaustion or pain that I felt.  But it wasn't about me, it was about helping them... and I found peace and joy in that.

God is teaching me that instead of seeking his "blessings" all the time, I need to be proactive and bless others.  Will I get blessed in return?  I don't know, but I am content with that.  I am okay with not knowing the big picture or how God is going to work in my life.  I just need to focus on doing what God wants me to do, and if the blessing comes... great.  If not, I will continue to give and continue to fight the good fight.

The contentment that Paul speaks about in Philippians 4:11-12 is becoming clearer to me.  Whether it is not having much money or sleep, having medical problems, or working 60-70 hours a week between two jobs, I am learning to be content and know that I am where God wants me.  I am hoping that things will get more comfortable, but I am learning to wait patiently for that day.  Until then, I need to keep giving what I have.

Wait, Jason.  You said that you don't have much money.  How can you give what you don't have?  

What was that?  I am glad that you asked!  Being able to give your time and talents can mean just as much to someone.

Aside from the general melancholy that I am seeing, I am finding that many of these people do three things:  

1.  Focus so much on their wounds that they can't see anything else 

2.  They don't share their talents and gifts with others

3.  They expect others to give them things without doing anything in return

The issue is that it leads to a life of self-absorption, willingly or not.  Self-absorption is the death of generosity... and the death of blessing others.

I have been there before.  Isolation is a dangerous thing and it gives a lot of time to focus on the wounds and the pain that we experience.  I intended to preserve myself, but instead I cut myself off.  Thats why I forced myself to get out of the house and help those in need.  I realized that when I wasn't doing that, I felt like a tiger in a zoo... a powerful animal that wants to feel powerful again, but has the issue of being stuck in an a world that they were not intended to live.  So I found my way out, and I remembered what it was like to be free again.

The cool thing is that all of us can have that.  We don't have to be stuck in the concrete mundane world where we feel captive.  Instead, we can live a giving life and get out of the cycle of self-absorption.

Some people can stay depressed for years and not change a thing.  To that, I ask, "how is that working for you?"  If you are ready for a change, start by giving to people.  God intended for us to be in community, and I truly believe that he meant for us to find life in community as well.  Choose to give.  Choose to live.